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Introduction to Chatter
Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It (2021) by Ethan Kross, Buy on Amazon, conveys how destructive self-talk degrades your life. Your negative inner voice, “chatter,” can cause emotional distress, frayed relationships, and poor performance. Kross presents solutions to calm your thoughts and avoid these adverse outcomes.
The Good and the Bad of Chatter
Chatter offers science-backed solutions for controlling negative internal conversations written in an approachable and empathetic manner. However, the book sometimes becomes too technical, lacks discussion on groups, and gives a narrow range of examples.
The Good of Chatter
Ethan Kross breaks the mold of the self-help genre. He presents a usable framework based on science in an open and approachable manner.
Framework for Controlling Negative Self-Talk
While self-help authors have had a surge in discussion around mindfulness and listening to your self-talk, most of these works have limited ideas on improving it. Other works present generic advice like “reword your self-talk to something nice” or “be kind to yourself.” Those lines belong on a bumper sticker but offer little explanation.
In contrast, Kross presents practical recommendations for controlling these conversations. Conveniently, Kross summarizes his recommendations in a Tools section (pg. 161-171). Some of my favorites include speaking to yourself in the 2nd or 3rd person and reframing experiences from threats to challenges.
Empathetic and Approachable
One of my favorite things about Kross is his passion for the topic. Finding an author driven by purpose rather than just selling books is refreshing.
His empathy for people suffering from Chatter is evident and moving. He is the type of guy you could walk up to on the street and strike up a conversation.
Scientific Yet Understandable Approach
Kross’s science-based approach is in contrast with others in the self-help genre. He draws on research from cognitive science and psychology to support his recommendations.
The best part is that the author does so in a fashion that you can understand without a degree in these fields. He shares anecdotes and stories to explain the science in a relatable and entertaining style.
The Bad of Chatter
Your eyes will gloss over and lose focus as you wade through the technical data and jargon. Additionally, you’ll find yourself left wanting when thinking about using the book’s insights to help others. Finally, the use of celebrity and personal anecdotes will cause you to roll your eyes.
Too Technical
Backing arguments with hard science is worthwhile, but Kross often becomes too technical. Entire sections describing studies are overkill. I found myself skimming and suggest you do the same.
Additionally, there was a significant amount of jargon and statistics that muddied rather than explained concepts. The author shifts back and forth between an academic and a general audience.
Focus on Individual
The focus is on managing your internal self-talk. While there was a section on supporting other people’s chatter, it was short and incomplete.
Anyone responsible for others (e.g., parents, bosses, coaches) thinks about how to help others with their chatter. Perhaps it’s too much to cover in a single book, but this one does little to explain how to improve Chatter with families, groups, and communities.
Scenarios Too Narrow and Vague
While I enjoyed Kross’s stories, his overuse of personal and celebrity stories or celebrities wore on me. It’s not much of a revelation that Lebron James or a professor of psychology can control their inner self-talk, but what about normal people?
Another issue was a lack of details within scenarios. Kross would name the technique used, but not provide what the person thought to change their mindset. When implementing ideas, specifics matter.
Summary of Chatter
Who Should Read It?
Almost everyone.
We all suffer from negative self-talk, and Chatter presents a framework for calming doubts. Kross’s framework helps achieve mental clarity during stressful situations.
Even if you feel your Chatter is under control, it will allow you to empathize with others who struggle.
Who Should Skip It?
Those familiar with or in professions related to psychology may find this book redundant. Also, people with much confidence and little self-doubt will read the book and think, “I already do this stuff.”
Wrap Up
Chatter reminds us how much our inner conversations shape our lives. It offers hope and a path to improve those conversations. Managing your inner voice enhances focus and productivity. Turn your inner dialogue from an enemy into an ally with Chatter.
Conclusion
There’s always more to read on this topic. Explore our full guide on personal productivity. Or you can view more productivity book reviews.
I thrive on recommendations and feedback. Hit me up in the comments section or join me on Reddit at (opens new tab) r/Remove_Work_Advice. I would love to hear from you if you have read Chatter or if you have any thoughts to share.
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Additional Information
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About Ethan Kross
Ethan Kross is an author and professor of psychology at the University of Michigan. He writes and studies how internal conversations impact people. Kross was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. He earned a degree from the University of Pennsylvania and a PhD in psychology from Columbia University.
Ethan wrote a National Bestseller—CHATTER: The Voice in Our Head, Why it Matters and How to Harness It. The Washington Post, CNN, and USA Today all named it one of the year’s best books.
Kross resides with his wife and two daughters in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Ethan Kross’s Books
Heads up. If you click on “Buy on Amazon” next to any book title, it will open a new page for that book on Amazon. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases—think of it as a productivity tip jar. Your support is highly optional but always appreciated.
- Kross, E. (2025). Shift: Managing Your Emotions–So They Don’t Manage You. United States: Crown. Buy on Amazon
- Kross, E. (2022). Chatter: The Voice in Our Head and How to Harness It. United Kingdom: Penguin Random House. Buy on Amazon
- Kross, E. (2026). Chatter: The workbook: Turn your inner critic into your inner coach. Clarkson Potter. Pre Order on Amazon
Ethan Kross Online
Website: EthanKross.com
Twitter: @Ethan_Kross
LinkedIn: Ethan Kross
Instagram: Ethan Kross
TED Talk: Ethan Kross: Do you talk to yourself? Here’s how to harness your inner voice
Wikipedia: Ethan Kross
Other Reviews of Chatter
- Ryan, J. (2022, March). Review of Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/ed/precollege/psn/2022/03/review-chatter
- Kirkus Reviews. (2020, October 9). Review of Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It. https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/ethan-kross/chatter-kross/
- Cadden, M. (2021, January 27). Review: Ethan Kross’ new book ‘Chatter’ helps us quell our harmful negative self-talk. USA Today. Retrieved February 26, 2025, from https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/books/2021/01/27/review-chatter-helps-us-quell-over-active-negative-self-talk/4266386001/
- Brazelton, N. (2021, January 26). Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It by Ethan Kross. Book Browse. https://www.bookbrowse.com/reviews/index.cfm/book_number/4211/chatter
- Scripture Savvy. (2021, January 26). Review of Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It. https://scripturesavvy.com/chatter/
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) about Chatter by Ethan Kross
Chatter is recurring negative self-talk. It creates a self-doubt spiral during conflict and stressful situations. Unchecked it breeds anxiety, indecision, and poor performance. Managing chatter frees up mental and emotional energy, allowing you to be more productive.
Distancing means looking at your problems from the outside. Some techniques include…
* Talking to yourself in the third person, e.g., “You can handle this, Anna.”
* Advising yourself as if you were a friend.
* Think about how you’ll feel about the problem months later.
Distancing reduces emotional intensity and rumination. Reframing this way encourages rational thinking.
Supportive relationships can reduce chatter, yet over-sharing or “co-rumination” intensifies it. Kross recommends offering “invisible support.” Examples include…
* Take over a stressful task.
* Avoid praise or acknowledgment for support.
* Provide subtle clues to help people figure out problems on their own.
When listening to a friend, do not let them drag you into the emotions of their problem. Redirect excessive venting into more constructive thoughts.